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The Hard Questions Couples Avoid About Intimacy

“Two hands reaching toward each other in soft, warm light, symbolizing unspoken intimacy and longing in a marriage.”


Why We Avoid These Questions

In my recent reflection — Wake the Silence #3: The Quiet Death of Desire in Marriage — I explored how intimacy fades quietly in many marriages.

This companion post is about the hardest questions we avoid asking — and why starting these conversations can completely shift closeness.

A Few of Those Questions

Most couples never ask:

  • Are there parts of your body (or mine) you feel uncomfortable with?

  • Do you consider certain intimate acts unacceptable?

  • Are you open to experimenting — and how would we talk about it?

In this week’s newsletter, I shared my own story of wrestling with these questions — and what changed when I finally asked them.

Why They Matter

Avoiding these questions doesn’t make them disappear — it creates silent distance.

Facing them, even gently, can open the door to honesty, curiosity, and deeper connection.

Want More?

Subscribers to Wake the Silence receive:

  • The full personal reflection behind these questions

  • Extra prompts to start talking with your partner

  • Weekly tools and stories about intimacy and connection

Subscribe here — new reflections arrive every Monday.

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